Children

Movies, Books, & More…

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My son is reading a book right now called Maze Runners. He was extremely excited to start reading this as he loves science fiction. But something happened to him tonight, he got to a chapter where there is a boy (teenager I believe) that essentially was poisoned and sent out of the group & left to die.   Well, with the values we have instilled in our children and with my son being who he is, this made him very upset and angry. So much though that he wanted to throw the book away.

The reason he was so upset was a) the thought of that happening in real life made him very sad and b) he couldn’t understand why someone would even right about something horrible like that. The thought of a person being capable of things let alone writing about them made him angry. And THAT got me thinking….

Why do we put that energy out there? Why do we love to watch scary movies like Hunger Games, Divergent, & other movies along those lines, read thriller books, get hooked on the awful TV shows like Bones, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Law & Order, and all the other tv shows alike?  Are we encouraging this unbelievable behavior in our world because it is what sells?

I am not one of those parents who blame tv, movies, or video games for the actions of people, BUT I am one of those moms who does not allow video games where there is murder or physical assault. I DO believe that when we see it enough, we become numb to it and in so doing we are less likely to respect the life that surrounds us.

So onto tonight’s main topic: How to respect the spirit while enjoying those types of entertainment.

The way I see it, we can either allow those forms of entertainment to consume us and alter our values, we can enjoy them for what they are (entertainment) while maintaining our values, or we can choose to not allow them into our world.

When my children ask me if they can watch a certain movie/show or read a book the only thing that I even think about is “How is this going to effect their ‘beingness’?” What I mean by that is, will this [book or movie/show] change the way they see the world for better or worse?

I recently read a study that stated that 50% of how a person thinks about themselves & the world around them (this is called their programming) is already determined by the time they are 8 years old, 80% by the time they are 13 years old, and 95% by the time they are 18 years old!  What this means is if I as a parent allow them to see the negative things that exist in our world at too young an age this will become a permanent part of their view on the world, but if I continue to fill their world with love & honor their spirit then they will essentially have a view of love in the world. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to shelter them from the world because then they will have a very hard time adjusting as an adult, but it is about balance and timing.

Obviously my son is learning that there are people out there that turn our nightmares into entertainment, but that doesn’t make them bad. How I explained it to him was like this, every spirit is made up of energy, and each energy comprises of dark & light. Therefore each spirit has good and bad, it is up to us to decide how we want our energy to be used. There is nothing wrong with writing or creating entertainment. We as people choose to watch the scary movie knowing we will be scared, we choose to see the romantic drama knowing we will cry, we choose to read certain books knowing what the baseline is about. It is not as though they place a picture of a happy bunny on the cover and lie to us.

Just as we know these things, we must also know that it doesn’t change us. And if he really wanted to make a difference then he should write a book filled with love & make that a best seller so less people will buy the “horrifying” books (that made him smile & get a little motivated) 🙂

In the end each of us still has a pure heart & spirit and choosing to watch a movie, show, or read a book that doesn’t necessarily align with our values doesn’t mean we are “lost” or turning bad. There is no such thing.

So love yourself, love your spirit, and enjoy your entertainment but PLEASE protect your children’s developing programs and introduce them to things as they grow & as they are ready. ❤

Compassion… taught & learned!

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Tonights post is going to be a little hard for me, yesterday I had a very real scare… my eldest daughter almost drowned in a river with me 10 feet away!  So here is the story, we were all playing in the river and I was playing with the baby while the other mom and her baby sat next to me. The 3 older kids were playing on the large rocks behind us (my niece, nephew, and eldest daugher) and then a dad was up on the other rock.   All of the sudden the dad yelled and jumped over the rocks and I turned around to see my daughter trapped between 2 rocks with the water gushing over her head and a look of pure panic on her face.  By the time I caught up to what I was seeing, the dad and a stranger were pulling her out of the water to me.   I grabbed her and started examining her and she was coughing up large amounts of water in between crying (I was about to cry too).  Once us parents knew she was ok I looked at my niece & nephew and they were playing around still acting as if nothing had happened.

What really gets me is neither one of them yelled to alert me that she had fallen into the water, neither one of them seemed concerned at all that she was drowning, and neither one of them came to check to see if she was ok after we got her out of the water.  I am SO thankful that the Dad looked over when he did, we aren’t sure how long she was actually under water because again, we didn’t get alerted.   What scares me is if that Dad didn’t look over when he did I would have lost my daughter (a thought that is bringing me to tears as I write this).

SO that brings up what this post is about…. Compassion.   I never would have thought that 2 kids who are witnessing this happen would have no compassion for the situation OR compassion to see if she is ok afterwards.   How often are we now numb to the world around us? How often do we look the other way?

I recently read an article that a man posted doing a “test” on society, he sat on a street corner with his 4 year old daughter and a sign that read “Single dad, need drug money, anything helps!” and the man raised $500 in 1 day!  The same man with the same daughter the next day on the same corner had a sign that read “SIngle dad, need food for daughter, anything helps!” and the man only raised $50… that is it! I realized by reading this article that we as a society are more accepting of the negative then the positive, and we don’t seem to show compassion where it is truly needed.

So, how do we start to make a change on this? How can we show more compassion in our own lives? Well me personally, I am guilty of making judgements which result in what I call “selective compassion” which isn’t where i want to be.  My husband recently pointed out that I at times have too high of expectations for some people and therefore don’t show compassion when they really need it. He is absolutely right.

Here is an exercise I have done in the past which seems to work for me, it is a play on an old saying “Put yourself in their shoes”. Now obviously I am not able to do this in all circumstances BUT I can place myself in their feelings. I close my eyes and I picture a time in my life that may be similar to what they are experiencing and I remember how I was feeling at that time and what I would have wanted from people at that time.  Boom!  It makes compassion so much easier!

Now what about our children? How do we teach compassion?  Well the children will automatically act as they see… learned behavior,,, so if they witness me showing compassion towards other people and animals then they will on some level learn what that looks like. But how do we teach it?  What I do with my children is actually quite simple, I ask them “How would you feel if you were going through that?” and it works most of the time. It takes them out of their experience and puts them into another persons.  I tell them a story. For example, if they harm an animal like our cat or dog, I say:

“Imagine you are in a home with a family who you love more then anything and that family most of the time shows you love back. But then one day one of the family members grabs your hear really hard and makes you cry. Then imagine they don’t say sorry or worse, laugh.  How are you feeling if that happens?”

Many of these “stories” help my children and they have now become very compassionate children and they get truly upset if they see other people not showing compassion & even try to be leaders in showing those people how to have compassion.

I am not sure what to do with my niece & nephew or strangers for that matter. But what I do know is that I am sad to see such a lack of compassion and will continue to search for a way to bring more of it not only into my life but to the people around me as well. ❤

The Purity of Children

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SO, I recently saw this beautiful picture of 2 kids hugging. 1 was a child with dark skin and 1 was a child with light skin. They were truly happy & full of love and the quote said “We are not born being Racist, we are born just loving”.   This one really hit me hard.

Children are 100% pure. Think about it, when a baby is born they only have 1 thing that they know…. love. They aren’t yet scared, or angry, or sad. They are only love.   The trust 100%, they love 100% and everything else is taught to them by the world.

SO how is it that children are taught these things? Well there are many ways these other “programs” are taught, through parents, siblings, school, television, & strangers.  Children observe and mimic what they see happening around them.

My youngest baby smiles ALL the time, but that is what he is being taught because every time he is around me I am constantly smiling at him and kissing on him (doing my best to raise a happy loving baby).  I have a friend who’s baby always cries, fusses, and seems unsettled most of the time, so I started to observe her behavior around her baby and what I noticed was my friend continuously talked about negative things around her baby, very rarely smiled to her baby, and just acted as if parenting was the worst thing that happened to her, and it is reflecting in her baby.   Poor sweet baby.   All a baby wants is to play, love, and be loved. That’s it! It is that simple!

Now don’t get me wrong, I have 4 kids and believe me, Parenting IS hard work, BUT it is not the baby’s fault, it is not the baby’s burden. Baby’s don’t choose who their parents are, they don’t choose to be created.  SO it is our job as their GUARDIAN ANGELS (because lets face it, that is exactly what we are to these beautiful spirits who are joining us on this earth) to make sure they keep love and trust in their hearts.

Children grow up to be adults, children grow up to have children of their own. Children will influence the world around us in a very big way. So why do people constantly treat children as if they are not worth investing into?  They are the ultimate investment!  It is not our job to break them down & make them behave a certain way, then complain & critizize the world around us & wish for changes that never happen.  The changes start when they are babies! The changes start with us, we are their guides, we are their mentors, and WE are the ones who will decide exactly what the world is going to look like in 20, 30, 40 years BASED on the “programs” we install into our little children now.

One of my favorite sayings is:

“All it takes for evil to triumph, is for good men to do nothing” – Edmund Burke

It is true. We are the good men & women, evil is not the devil or curses or whatever else, Evil = hate.  So for the hate in the world to end WE must instil love & help it grow!